The body leads when the mind recedes

It goes on and on incessantly commenting on everything, and acting like it knows best, and tries its utmost to direct life’s course. It thinks it is the driver in your life. 

It’s hilarious really, one’s own MIND.

 It's not surprising how the mind assumes it is the decision maker considering how society and culture have conditioned us to believe the mind decides. Why, one would think that nothing would happen at all if we didn’t first use the mind to make our decisions.

However, I’ve learned  through my own experimentation with the Human Design system how the mind is NOT the decision maker in our lives. It's not its job. It can support our decisions once they initially come about from our  intuition, guidance, gut instinct, a.k.a. inner authority.

During a weekend silent retreat I attended,  I had clear and visceral examples of how the body leads when the mind recedes.  

In silence, where there is no talking or interacting with anyone, no reading or distractions, there is an opportunity to see what really happens when we don’t engage in the mind, no matter what it says. 

I used to think that meditation was about silencing the mind, but now I realize it’s about being with whatever arises and falls away without getting caught up in any of it. Not thoughts, feelings, sensations or anything that has a transient quality to it.

Watching the mind as the body leads

While on retreat I  was astounded by the noise in my mind, but rather than try to push it into silence (impossible) I simply watched its banter and stayed with the exquisite feeling of conscious breath, noticing nature sounds, and sights all around.

The first thing I noticed 

The retreat schedule where it listed a 5:30am rise and walk up the hill to watch the sunrise.  My mind started telling me what I should do. Mind you, that weekend happened to be quite cool and cold in the mornings too.

So of course my thoughts told me I’d be better off in bed snuggled up in my doona and get up later for the seated meditation. 

With no phone, no watch, no idea what time it was, my body awoke at exactly 5:30am and I found myself putting on my sweater and jeans and wool shawl to go up the hill and sit outside for sunrise.

Second thing was the walks

There were 2 mindful walks over the course of the weekend. I had done the labyrinth walk last time I attended a silent retreat here, so I thought, gosh I don’t know. I’ve done that. It’s a big walk. There might be leeches and ticks. And the mud. It’s been raining and blah blah blah. But 15 minutes before the time for the walk I found myself putting on repellent and getting ready to go. And when the bell rang I was outdoors and walking with the group.

Then of course I had already thought 2 days before that I’d only do ONE walk, not two. And the second walk was a big walk down and climbing back up a hill. My mind tried to convince me I didn’t need to do that, and I’ll be tired from the first walk.. 

But again, 5 or so minutes before the time, I found myself getting dressed and ready to go and my body was taking over.  And off I went.

It’s hard to really describe what I mean by the body deciding because it seems like the decisions come from my mind, but I assure you it did not. My mind was in mutiny about doing anything. And yet, I found myself moving, legs walking, awakening early, all without a thought process as such. 

If you’ve been doing any kind of meditation, you know what the mind can be like. Incessant chatter with maybe glimpses of quiet for a few moments. 

Breakthrough the noise

The real breakthrough for me was seeing that even with the mind doing its mind thing, actions came directly from my body, which was in some kind of flow with life, spontaneous and uncaring about what the mind was generating.  

It didn’t matter that the mind was noisy or busy. I could tap into the ground of stillness and silence beneath all of it. This is the gift.

Not having to do anything about anything. 

Following the bodily instincts, responses, and movements. 

Honestly, it's like it happens by itself without any interference from me thinking I’m doing this, I’m deciding this.  

And the beauty of being on a silent retreat is the connection to the silence and stillness inside and out. Even with loud birds, crickets, or a noisy mind. It doesn’t matter. Nothing can touch it and we can focus on that still vast  unchanging  silent ground both inside and out.